Today during my singing lesson my teacher turned and said that I’m doing way too much activities and that I’m not focusing on one thing. He basically said, “Hey you try to do everything, and you end up sucking on all of them!” I don’t know why but I got upset, I know I am doing a lot of things. But they are not useless! Plus, I’m not going to sit and wait for life to pass by so when I’m 50 I finally wake up to do something and realize it’s too late cause more than half my life is already wasted. The problem is, my teacher assumed I want to be a singer. Not that I don’t, seriously, that is my wildest dream! But I just know I’m not good enough for it, vocally I mean. I might write some okay songs, with catchy lullaby, but I’m no Christina Aguilera. I told him I wasn’t doing it for a profession, it’s just because I love to sing and my dream is to one day actually have an album with songs that have beautiful vocals. He told me my problem wasn’t my vocal range, because it’s quite big. The thing is my emotional is always getting on the way. In my head, I can’t sing high notes because I think they sound metallic. (That’s true) But he told me that it doesn’t, and he recorded me, and it’s not as metallic as I thought. But still. I have this insecurity about myself, that is so hard to get passed it! I’m always afraid I’ll get off pitch, when if I try, I might actually do a pretty good job. He told me to relax, and that I got talent, I just have to stop holding myself back. That I’m so afraid to make mistakes that I don’t even try new things, and that it’s by getting things wrong that we learn. I guess he is right, I am afraid of making mistakes. Specially in singing. That when I’m off key it hurts my ears because I can hear it so clearly. I guess I have to get the wild and crazy Cary out there and see what happens. After all, maybe I might actually become a singer when I grow up… (ha! yeah, and then I wake up!)