Dear you,
It’s been a while now. Supposedly, you should have been long gone. Out of everyone in the room, you’re still holding on. So many moments, memories, many that I can’t even recall. What makes you hold on? Why after all this time you never said anything? Why just now? So many questions I have, however, I will never ask them, because they are always interpreted as a passage back in time for you to hold me back. You’ve mentioned I apologize too often. Perhaps I do. I apologize for all small things, unimportant details because I cannot face you and truly apologize for what you’ve been endlessly waiting for. I will not lie, or deceive you in thinking that I regret leaving like I did. As much as society frowns upon this attitude I cannot make myself deny it. That night, when we were drinking and simply having fun with everyone else. No words were directly spoken. Just blank stares across the room, stares that were waiting for answers that would never arrive. As much as I would love to feel heartbroken in sympathy for you, I am not. As much as it hurts to be called emotionless and heartless, it is still not enough. You have pretended very well, to hide feelings, words. As I started to slowly fade away from reality that night I fell into strange arms. I left alone, all I wanted was those four walls around me. In my state of mind I could have possibly killed myself, maybe that’s why the hand of faith left my traces for someone to follow. I just felt a hand holding me, it all happened too fast. I honestly do not remember every detail. I had no idea there were so many people who cared. And I definitely had no idea you would be the one to come after me. It would be polite of my part to thank you for everything that night. As we talked on the balcony, you trying to explain yourself and me cutting you off because there is nothing to say. You said I had a blank stare, that I always did. Maybe that was your cue to leave, that was your queue one year ago that I felt nothing. Once again I rushed you out because I can’t stand the pointless conversation. Once again, I closed the door on your face with a clear-cut goodbye. Still I don’t think you understand and there is nothing I can do or say to make you let go. You said I didn’t change at all, maybe I didn’t, I’m still the same girl I was before… but now I am not lost. I found myself, and it’s time you do the same. There is nothing to hold on here. I don’t know who you are, we are strangers who happened to cross each other’s path. Once again, I say sorry. Not for what I did, but for what you’re going through. I never meant to do this to you and I hope you find happiness. You asked me if I am happy. Yes I am, I am very happy and I wouldn’t change a thing. Yes, you’ve hurt me in so many ways but I decided to let that go, and move on. I guess this is goodbye again…
Sincerely,
Just another stranger.
